Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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