I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
this boner is exhausting
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Randomize
