I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
