why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
