I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
