Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
