I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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