'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
