who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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