it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
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