I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I bet he comes in French.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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