I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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