College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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