Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
