Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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