No period for spring break; use this wisely.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
