so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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