"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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