they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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