I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize