dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My balls are so social today.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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