a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
