ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
