but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize