We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
