is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
