is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Randomize
