Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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