shes about as inviting as chlamydia
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
