I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She even gives head with a lisp.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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