quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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