No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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