And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
