i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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