I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
