is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
