sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
