What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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