dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
