Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
