I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
