There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
