I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
