I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize