I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
i think i have herpe
just one?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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