After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
