She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
