just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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