you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
