JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
