College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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