Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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