at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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