WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
