Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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