I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
