To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
