dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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