Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
