Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
