whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
high people should be assigned attendants
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
