God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
