Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize