so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
