i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
