We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize