I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
