So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
