You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
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