It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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