You're a womanizer and a bitch.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
