I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
