I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
