I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
