I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
